Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in holyishy's LiveJournal:

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Monday, July 3rd, 2006
7:40 am	*sigh* Last Saturday was suppose to be CJ's day. When I got home from work, CJ and I went straight to b's. Unfortunately, he got sick during the day. I think his eating at Jollibee Alabang somewhat triggered it...but he's been sick since last week, altho' he somehow got better so as always...ignore. Nwz, turns out that his white blood cell count is higher than normal and may bacteria chuvaness...that's why he feels all that body pain, plus the high fever. The doctor said he needs to take a week's rest...bad timing tho' cuz this week is like their last week of the training...I dunno what's gonna happen yet...Well he's not going to work today for sure,, reckon he should ask the doctor if he can go na by Wednesday so at least he can catch up. Last nyt some asshole ex called, and obviously I had to tell b. It's no biggie tho...at least for me. I mean I just had to say what I had to say...do what I had to do end of the story. I hung up on him at the end after I've said everything that I had to say...whapak to his fuckin face. For some reason, na ms prn si b...and ryt now..again ms sha cuz der wer some msg left pla sa inbox ko from him that I guess I never checked ulit kya andun pa. I can't explain what I feel now pro I kinda feel like shit after all that I was able to prove myself nmn na...I mean na everything about ex is crap...whatever he read there is all down the drain na...prng ang bigat sa part ko kc I feel like I did something wrong for him to feel that way pro wla nmn...what a way to start eh morning...dang! Current Mood: crappy 1 junkie | junk me off
Thursday, June 15th, 2006
6:20 am	just got home.... I just got home from my second day at work. So far so good....kinda like studying again actually. My first day was terrible cuz I was sooooooo sleepy! I woke up early that day cuz it was CJ's first day at school and I didn't get the chance to sleep again later that day. Palits waited for my shift to end...poor baby had to sleep in the car. Nwz he continued the rest of his sleep here at home and then went off to work after lunch. I finally convinced him that it's safe to go home even using public transport by the time my shift ends cuz the sun's up already...well not totally but it ain't as dark ne more by that time. CJ just left for school now and he's not having an easy time adjusting w/o having me by his side at night. He was complaining just now when I got home...as in d nya ko pinapansin! Then he said kesyo he missed me and all that...and I told him that I missed him too....and it's just something we have to both get used to....no work, no money...no money, no toys! Hehehe~! Nwz, I better get some sleep now so I could wake up early to study for a damn quiz! Hehehe~! Current Mood: tired junk me off
Friday, June 9th, 2006
7:58 pm	poor palits... Well everything's alrighty now...but my poor baby's sick. *sigh* Right now he's at work... probably just finished having dinner. Hopefully the transfer factor will work well on him... i saw yoj earlier this morning and she apologized for last nyt...hahaha! I swear it was the effect of GM! Hehehe...~! Nwaz I would never have left her there alone. Magalit na skn si palits but i could never live with the guilt if ever anything happened to my hon. Nwaz...that's all for now. Have to get up early tom to get the car tuned up...gawd I wonder when mom's gonna get her liscence...and if she's really gonna end up driving. Honestly, I don't feel so confident having her drive around on her own. She's not evens showing the least bit interest. I mean you can tell na napipilitan lng sha...so we don't have to get a driver...iwas gastos and everything...anyways, we'll see how it goes. I miss my palits!!!='( Current Mood: moody 4 junkies | junk me off
10:04 am	='( Last nyt I went out because yoj needed me. It was a last minute thing...I thought she was in trouble or something so I went. It ended up that she was just having a drink with some guy friends and she didn't want to be the only girl there so I'm the first one that came to her mind. I did her a favor. Of course, I couldn't keep it to b...so I told him. He got pissed because he thought we were at yoj's place only. I called him...I practically begged for forgiveness....but he was I dunno, too tired to listen or just couldn't bother. He said sori this morning tho abt last nyt but I know from the way that he's txting that he's still pissed. Sometimes I'm beginning to think that this is becoming a one-way thing. Why is it that I'm able to listen to him 24-7...he can call me at anytime of the day...even in the middle of the night in my deep sleep and I'd still listen to his sorry...and his explanation....and now that it's the other way around....*sigh*...it's not like I did anything grave either. Nakakapanghina sobra....especially when I said 'I love you' to him and all I could hear at the other end of the line was, "Oh sige na sige na...ibaba mo na..." ='( Current Mood: sad junk me off
Monday, November 7th, 2005
4:03 pm	wow... i haven't logged in here for the longest time and i'm surprised to see the changes...pretty kewl i must say...it's finally over between me and my...*sigh* tska na i'll make kwento...some kinda lazy pa... akipuki mishu na!!!! junk me off
Saturday, October 15th, 2005
3:46 pm	first time... I'm at the comp lab at school right now...comp lab 1 to be exact. I didn't have an exam this morning cuz I was exempted from it. This afternoon we just had to pass our final exam project for AI. I was just simply minding my own business when Jex, Jiggz, Sugar, and Do came inside with a cake and a candle lit...and they sang the usual bday song as they came in the door. I was so surprised...something i never expected and yes for the first time in my life...I was surprised...tears literally ran down across my cheeks. Hehehe...I was so touched....so sweet of 'em...no one's ever done something like that for me....thanks mga bakla!hehehe.... junk me off
Sunday, October 9th, 2005
9:54 pm	neverending doubts.... Last fri, my and i had another major fight. For the past few days all he's been blabbing about is my cousin pia...and it really got to me that time. I got so irritated and frustrated when i called him...I could hear myself almost shouting from the top of my lungs. I told him straight off if he wants Pia then fine dun nlng sha. He even had the nerve to tell me that I was the one again...as always...being immature and shit. To cut it short he texted me and broke it off. I felt sad but at least it wasn't me who gave up. I gave no reply... until i got home. I told him, "Changes don't happen overnyt Mr. Reyes, and just to get things straight, this time around it's u who gave up, not me." Then we talked afterwards and supposedly things were ok na. When we broke up earlier that day I txted Pia right away for no reason at all, just to let her know that it was over. When I spoke to her over the phone just after my and I fixed things, I found out that they've been texting for quite some time already. Of course, I trusted my cousin more. She told me to not break it off and just keep him hanging...play his game that sort of thing, but I couldn't. It just isn't me. I told her I'd rather just end it. So I did. I called my after putting the fone down with Pia. It was a short call. I suppose he was speechless as he claimed to be cuz until I said gudbye he didn't say a word. After that he sent me all of the msgs Pia sent him. Some sounded familiar from Pia's kwento, but the rest....the rest I felt had meaning in them. After consulting with Kuya everything made more sense, and somehow I do feel that it was Pia who initiated most of it all along. I guess they were both thinking the same shit...to just play the game...either ways it was wrong for my to entertain the whle damn thing. After he sent me all the msgs, he called again. I couldn't help but burst into tears, and I still couldn't accept the fact that he's only mistake was he entertained her. At the back of my head I didn't want to believe anything he said. I swear, I never felt that kind of pain for the longest time. I was literally pushing him away...I told him to leave me alone...because from the moment I met him, up to that day all I ever ended up doing was crying over him. He begged tho' for another chance, and I don't know now if I had made the right decision again for giving him that chance. I can't say it's been a happy 4mths....it's been more like a depressing 4mths actually. Maybe...hopefully...things will turn around this time...for the better. Current Mood: morose junk me off
Wednesday, October 5th, 2005
5:46 pm	Last Sunday we had our defense....bru and I are aware of our mistakes but we still wonder why we were given a 'major revision' instead of a 'minor' since all they want us to change is one part of one chapter. The part I can't take is that chinese *&#@ who was one of the panelists...bru just told me that he gave 2 out of 10 in our presentation while the other two gave us 10. What right does he have to give us such a low grade on that when he was late in the first place...we were down to 1/4 of our presentation when he came. Other than that...what really ticks me off right now is my again...I went to Pao's bday w/c to him is an equivalent of what...how many gimiks?! I already feel like shit abt this whole major rev thing cuz of that chinese dip shit dagdag pa sha...instead of making me feel better...that was like weeks ago and he still keeps on bringing it back...I barely even have a social life...all I have is school, cj...school...cj...I swear sometimes I really think he doesn't understand me at all...between us two prng he's the one with the narrow mind...All I know for a fact is that whether we're together or not...there still should be that 'happy' feeling....w/c half of the time I don't feel... Current Mood: annoyed 2 junkies | junk me off
Tuesday, September 27th, 2005
11:04 am	Just a week ago, Tuesday night, my and I broke up. Y? At first I thought it was another one of his being so mr. insensitive guy. I had no word from him for two whole days, what was I to think? But my friend Jiggz was right, I shouldn’t have just jumped into things. But I couldn’t take it anymore so I texted him to just end things. I got even more pissed when he texted back right away. Anyways, the next day he made kamusta. Thursday night, while I was at the PEERS Acquaintance party, he said he was going to Singapore. I felt like I was hit by my conscience or something, I felt a sudden rage of sadness…like what Puff said, they come and they go. Then came Friday…our break up…Singapore….all of it just piled up inside….I decided to get my tongue pierced. Something w/c I wanted for a long time but never had the courage to do it. Well that Friday I had no intention of going home w/o getting one first. My friend Dhae came with me and I got it done at Gameworx for 500 bucks. That Friday night, my called. Then I found out what a naïve li’l child I really was….for that being the reason of our break up. I’m not gonna go into details of what he went through those past 2 days cuz it wouldn’t be right I suppose, but it’s enough to know that I should have been more understanding. “Another lesson learned for me…” I thought…then he said, “Para wla ng problema, tayo nlng ulit, ok ba un?” And I answered yes straight away without any hesitation at all or whatsoever. The sad part of it all is…he’s still going to Singapore, and I only found out now that he’s gonna be leaving this November…That’s just two months away. =’( Gee's gonna be here for a visit next month. Of course, to be witht he kids....imagine four years w/o seeing them...I could never imagine not even seeing CJ for more than 3 days. But that's cuz of field trips and retreats at school...I must admit it kinda felt weird knowing that she was gonna be back but I'm glad for her and the kids cuz I'm sure they miss each other very much....but other than that...there's still this weird feeling that I can't explain... Current Mood: gloomy junk me off
Thursday, September 15th, 2005
12:04 am	*sigh* I just got back from another surprise visit from my…I dropped off kuya at the office so I thot y not drop the freakin card I was spose to give him last Sat….and of course, cuz I wanted to see him. We’ve been together for three months and I still feel like ‘nanga2pa kmi sa ugali ng isa’t isa…” I hate it whenever he says, “you gotta be more mature…and be more understanding…” Damn if I wasn’t would I still be here?! Is it so immature to ask for him to just learn and make paramdam….even if there was some sort of emergency is it too mch to ask to jst lemme knw…so at least I wouldn’t worry or something…Do I have to do all the adjusting?!Honestly, I should be happy right now since I was able to see him and all that but damn…I feel like crap…after opening up to him the same old shit all I get is the same old line...same 'ol my...puro salita kulang sa gawa. It's not enuf that he makes paramdam his love to me only when we're 2gdr ryt? Grrrr...No I don't wanna let go but damn I just have let this all out...Fuck tlga… Current Mood: bitchy junk me off
Wednesday, September 14th, 2005
4:31 pm	Sat. nyt jinx.... Last Saturday started out so well...I mean I was just home in the morning waiting for afternoon to come to go to Alyssa's 2nd bday party....and then meeting up with my. After the party I went to pick up my at the office...and just our luck when we were in the middle of 'edsa traffic'...the car got busted. I was so pissed about the whole thing...of course it's neither my fault or my's but just the whole car shit thing ruined the whole nyt. And it's not very easy getting the car for 'gimik' reasons nowadays. Anyways, to cut the story short, we got towed to the other side of the fuckin edsa road at some gas station...it was Petron I think. Then his best friend chay came and I let him drive the car home. Fuck that Saturday nyt man...worst one ever. Anyways, that's all abt my shitty saturday nyt.... Current Mood: bitchy junk me off
Monday, September 5th, 2005
9:00 pm	right or wrong? I gave Pia my's ym chuva and # sa office. She's the reason how my and I got hooked up in the first place, but I just can't get over this insecurity I have over her. I mean she's got the looks and the attitude...duh! She and my use to have something going on...just dunno what category it falls under. From her kwento din before he used to make so much effort in getting in touch and everything...they just never had the chance to meet. We were all in a conference at first....not long after no one was saying shit...so i was talking to myself for a while until Pia said they were already talking on the phone...so I left the conference room. Prng nainis ako na dko maintindihan. Until now I still can't get that thot off my head of the possibility...all sorts of possibilities...I'm a wrecked shit I swear...I told my friend how tanga I feel for staying since I still don't completely trust my and she said...that's not being tanga...it's love daw...nyahahahahhaha! Corny but true....kainis noh...gigil sakin...grrrrrrr.... Current Mood: nervous 1 junkie | junk me off
Tuesday, August 23rd, 2005
10:46 pm	so far.... ....it's been one of those boring loooong days...well not so long and not so boring really. More like tiring actually since Ate Meds has been sick. We're all kinda tied up at home cuz there'll be no one left with the kids (cj & rob)...we all have to help out in doing household chores.... I still haven't seen my and I'm sure he's gotta lot of kwento...hehehe...last sat I was with Jex, Jiggz, Em and Sugs...we had lunch together with mie and papa jel during our break time. After our 2pm class we went to atc to catch a glimpse of mymp...gosh i nver knew wat it stood for till that day!nyahahahaha...after that we ate at S.E.X...then they gave me a ride home...they stayed for a few minutes for dessert...(graham, ovlateenees, crumpy, peanut butter....hahahahaha~!) And that's it...i'm zonked... Current Mood: bored junk me off
Thursday, August 18th, 2005
2:06 pm	finally.... My finally gave me his tel. no. at homE! He had to say a bunch of other ppl's number first before I could finally get it. It was funny and annoying all at the same time. Anyways, it's not like I can call anytime I want either tho' cuz we're not legal yet and crap like that. We haven't met so I've no idea what's really up with him but I feel like he's going through a rough time right now. Hope we'll meet up this week or next week. Current Mood: hopeful junk me off
Tuesday, August 9th, 2005
5:05 pm	last minute chuva again(^_^) Last night my and I met up...so happy happy...hihihihih(^_^)...it was definitely one of those last minute things...actually I've been making him kulit for quite sometime already...I keep on telling him whenever we chat that I'd pick him up and then just mke him hatid..stuffs like that...he always says no cuz we got no money nga then last night I just kept on insisting cuz I had a bit of dough and he only had 300 bucks..hehehe...I was only wearing house clothes...we were together from 9:30 pm till past 2am...haaaaaaay....I told him pretty much abt how my trust for him somewhat lessened but I really dunno either...I mean I dunno if I feel that or I just think of it that way...it sounds really confusing and rather martyr-ish but I really can't get myself to be so angry with him...The thought of our differences sometimes still kinda scares me though...I mean we kinda have a different direction right now...I'm just practically about to start my life...he's on the verge of settling down...he believes in 'live in' situations...i really don't. I mean if I were to live in with a person...I'd wanna be married to him first. Sometimes he likes to say stuffs like..."You don't wanna live with me that means you don't love me." I dunno if he literally means it or he's just teasing. Anyways, everything's still a blur with regards to 'our' future and everything, if we even have one, hopefully if it's in God's will...then so be it...I'd be the happiest girlaloo alive...hehehe Current Mood: happy junk me off
Monday, August 8th, 2005
10:51 am	so wat else is new... "Love isn't enough to sustain a relationship. Without trust, no relationship can survive." Now could this be true or could this be true?! Superlei u should know...you've been thru something like this right but look at you guys...still together and I suppose getting stronger? I feel so silly...I feel like I have the answers to my own question but I can't seem to find myself putting them into action. Can this be love? Yuck so corny but can it?! I'm so inspired by that story my told me...but that woman's married to the man...and I'm so nowhere near to that...but why do I get the feeling that I'm actually starting to follow the footsteps of that woman in the story? I know if I tell anyone about the story behind all this shit, they'd have only one thing to say..."G0odbye to my..." And I would just say as always, "Bhala na...hangga't kaya ko pa...bhala na si Lord"...leeeeeeech! But it's true tho...that's just exactly how I feel right now... I'm gonna have my practicum nxt week...Aug. 17, hopefully. I see no conflicts ne more with the sched. My song really suits me...and it's like a summary of this thing I have with my... Starting Over Again and, when i hold you in my arms i promise you you're gonna feel a love that's beautiful and new this time i'll love you even better than i ever did before and you'll be in my heart forever more we, we're just too young to know we fell in love and let it go so easy to say the words goodbye so hard to let the feeling die i know how much i need you now the time is turning back somehow as soon as our hearts and souls unite i know for sure we'll get the feeling right and now we're starting over again it's not the easiest thing to do i'm feeling inside again cause everytime i look at you i know we're starting over again this time we'll love all the pain away welcome home my lover and friend we are starting over, over again if we niver lived alone then we might have never known all of the time we spent apart all we did was break each other's hearts and when i hold you in my arms i promise you you're gonna feel a love that's beautiful and new this time i'll love you even better than i ever did before and you'll be in my heart forevermore and now we're starting over again this time we'll chase all the rain away welcome home my lover and friend we are starting over, over again we are starting over, over again Current Mood: crushed 2 junkies | junk me off
Thursday, August 4th, 2005
3:29 pm	touching yet sad story... My was telling me this story about a guy who was basically once a sleaze ball and he was a married man already. It was a story shared by that man himself in their prex thing...I forgot what it stands for. It's parish r..something chuva...anyways, so this man's married and all and basically he's got like two or three mistresses. There was one time he was with his mistress at a busy street...holding hands...and just across the street from them was his wife. I'm pretty sure he was caught in the act. Here's the catch... when the guy got home...his wife was still all nice to him...as in pinagsilibihan pa sha...offered him dinner, a massage...nd the more that na konsensya ung guy...then she asked him if he really loved her.... shmpre mas lalo pa na konsensya...wat else? After that day he never cheated on his wife again...then he started attending the prex thing...and one day when he decided to go home and tell his wife how much he really loved her and that he wouldn't do anything anymore that would hurt her...she was dead. So moral of the story is...tell the person you love how much he/she means to you before it's too late...do you reckon it's true that God always takes those who are super duper nice? Until this very day they still can't figure out the cause of the woman's death even from the autopsy....weird noh... Current Mood: curious junk me off
Wednesday, August 3rd, 2005
3:14 pm	just a thought.... I always said before that I would never want to have a bf at school and up to this day I still stand by that statement. Y? Because I want to have time for my friends. Even if my friends got along with the guy it's still different with just having you and your girlfriends around. I know it's really up to me how I would handle everything, but as I've obvserved around school....couples seem to have some kind of a mighty bond between them. They're like unseparable. And when you're with them, it's not like you're even around. Their conversation kinda just flows between them too. Makes you wanna scream inside your head. It's not like you have anything against the couple...it's just the fact that you've somehow parted ways, unlike the old days...but new friends come along w/c is the good part about it. I'd rather not be around them alone cuz I just feel like an outcast. I'd rather be with other people....even the ones who I'm not so close to. I miss the old days...1st yr-2nd yr days...bball days...if only I could just play again, I really would...I really want to, but the timing just ain't right. To top it all of....I'm supposedly in a relationship w/c I can't really feel my being in a relationship...I just make it appear like everything's fine cuz it's useless to argue...My heart just always turns soft again then he'll just do the same old shit w/c always gets me pissed...and he would always have the same old excuse...Weird how I've so many complaints but I still can't find myself dumping the guy...could this be love?hahaha~!(Ya that's right...just laugh it all out...no point making mukmok and shit....) Current Mood: irate 2 junkies | junk me off
1:51 pm	grrrrr... Bad trip…I talked to cj’s teacher today and he’s been….ugh!I pity him at the same time…I dunno why he acts so weirdly naughty sometimes…like wanting to get attention all the time…just he was doing his hw and geez I dunno really if he means it when he says he understands what he’s doing or what…I’ve been in such a pissed off and irritating mood since yesterday…and up to now I still feel that way….personal reasons… fuckinay…now I gotta go to school for one fuckin class then go home…waste of fuckin time and money if u ask me… Current Mood: cranky junk me off
Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005
6:44 pm	what a day.... Man I did all my work this morning lng…I was suppose to just wait for CJ get to sleep then start working but I fell asleep…hahaha…I kept on putting my alarm to this time then that time then snoooooze…..the next thing I know it was wake up time for CJ…and obviously my wake up time as well…and getting started with all my shit…I had that sound business idea thing to do…finish all the dfd’s and other diagrams, and narrative shit for our Chapter 2…now we gotta start on our Chapter 3…in the middle of doing my sound business idea paper I asked help from pa with my excel shit for Saturday….I got to class at exactly 2:05….talk abt super late…I mean I came later than Carmie and anybody who comes later than her is super duper late…hahahaha~! I finally got to upload those new pixies finally…ah shit! I left the cd in the comp lab…ah fucker…now I have to go early to school tom to get it…haaaaay….damn…oh well….me and my dory mind again…damn… p!x!es=) Current Mood: stressed junk me off